


one day you’ll drink from my bones

by skvadern



Series: skvadern does the heart of aphrodite [3]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Bad Idea Sex, Betrayal, Captivity, F/F, Hurt No Comfort, Numbness, The Heart of Aphrodite 2021, Undead Sasha Racket, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:48:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29051655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skvadern/pseuds/skvadern
Summary: Sasha nods stiffly to her. She can’t seem to look at Azu straight on, her gaze skittering off to the side, exploring the corners of the room serving as Azu’s cell.For The Heart of Aphrodite Day 3: Trust - Betrayal - Vindication
Relationships: Azu/Sasha Racket
Series: skvadern does the heart of aphrodite [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149617
Comments: 10
Kudos: 19
Collections: The Heart of Aphrodite





	one day you’ll drink from my bones

**Author's Note:**

> this is uh. bad idea central. does not end happy. just so yall know.  
> title from milk teeth by keaton henson, which frankly yall should listen to while reading this cause the lyrics, they do so fit

The door opens with barely a whisper, and Azu whips round, fists clenched. When she sees who’s come through the door, she makes herself open those fists, forcing her shoulders to relax as she faces… yes, still her friend, even now. Azu has to believe that, has to keep faith.

Sasha nods stiffly to her. She can’t seem to look at Azu straight on, her gaze skittering off to the side, exploring the corners of the room serving as Azu’s cell. “’S nice in here,” she mutters eventually, when Azu hasn’t yet spoken. “’S good. I asked them to keep you lot somewhere nice, but people like this, they don’t always listen, right?”

“I’ve been treated very well so far,” Azu offers. She can’t help the emphasis that bleeds into _so far_ , and Sasha twitches.

“Good,” she says again, and actually scuffs a foot on the floor. A short day ago, Azu would have found that helplessly endearing.

Azu forces her shoulders down again and waits the silence out, until Sasha breaks. “They won’t keep you forever, y’know. Just till you can’t muck up the plan anymore.”

“What plan, Sasha?” Azu asks, voice as gentle as she can manage, but Sasha just shakes her head.

“Not mine to say, is it?” She looks up now, meets Azu’s gaze, and her face is blank, hard as granite. So grey – Sasha’s never looked exactly healthy, not as long as Azu’s known her, but right now she looks. Well.

Dead.

“This isn’t you, Sasha,” Azu murmurs, words choking her even as she gets them out.

A fast, jerky shrug. “Sorry, mate, but I dunno about that. Wasn’t too long ago that I was one of Barret’s best sneak-thieves. Legit employment… probably wasn’t ever sustainable. Besides, I mean, I’m undead, right? And the Hades lot, undead is kind of their whole thing. They treat me good, at least, and they’re not going to hurt you lot.”

“Do you really trust them to hold to that?” Azu tries.

Another shrug. “Maybe. They need me right now, so I reckon I’m good for a bit, at least. ‘S more than I’d have gotten otherwise.”

“We could have helped you.” Azu tries. “The Heart-“

“Azu,” Sasha’s voice softens, like someone breaking bad news to a child. “They were never gonna give it to me. I get that you trusted them, but come on, mate. Far as the Meritocrats are concerned, I’m _nothing_. Criminal gutter trash and a zombie to boot. They wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire, let alone give out something that powerful just to save my life.”

She’s wrong, she has to be wrong, but there’s a cold, hard ball forming in Azu’s diaphragm – after all, it’s irrelevant now. Whether or not the Meritocrats would have allowed use of the Heart before this, they certainly won’t now.

She opens her mouth, but what else is there to say? Sasha looks so resigned, so sure that all she has to look forward to is cruelty, and Azu finds she can’t blame her, not one bit. She was only doing what she thought she had to, to survive, because that’s who Sasha is. Azu knows only a little about her friend’s life before leaving her home city, but she knows it was nothing like her own childhood.

Instead of trying to speak, Azu takes a careful step towards her. Just one, until she sees how Sasha reacts. When Sasha doesn’t flinch, she risks another step, then another. Sasha seems frozen, so perfectly still that it sparks a shuddery unease in the pit of Azu’s stomach, but she doesn’t move away. She lets Azu move into her space, that impenetrable bubble that Sasha never really loses.

 _I still care about you. I’m not giving up on you. Tell me how to help you, how to make this right. Just talk to me, please._ Nothing she could say feels adequate, nothing feels like it would get through, and Azu can’t afford to make another mistake. Sasha could so easily just walk away, and Azu might never see her again, might lose her forever. That’s not acceptable.

Maybe words aren’t the way to get through to Sasha. She’s such a physical person, her body such a complete extension of her. So Az reaches out, tries to say what words can’t, heart pounding with their closeness. She _has_ to get through to Sasha, she _has_ to.

Sasha lets her draw her close, shudders and presses her forehead into Azu’s shoulder. Lets Azu hold her, like she can undo Sasha’s betrayal if she just concentrates hard enough on the weight in her arms.

Where their bare skin presses together, Sasha’s is inhumanly cold. The touches feel like they’re leaching the warmth out of her skin, draining her. The unease is still heavy in her, but Azu doesn’t move away. Even now, she wants to give Sasha what she needs.

“Azu,” Sasha hisses, and her hands are clenching tight in Azu’s clothes, nails scraping against her belly. “Fuck, I don’t – I sold you _out_ , why are you – why?”

“I know,” Azu murmurs, resting her lips against the chill tangle of Sasha’s curls. “I forgive you.”

“Don’t,” Sasha mutters, but her lips come to rest icy against the base of Azu’s throat. For a moment, Azu’s heart kicks her in the chest, instinctive animal dread that she squashes as fast as she can. Then Sasha _bites_ her, gently, almost a kiss, and the fear is washed away.

She wants, badly, to talk about this. To ask… she doesn’t know, it’s only that this feels – but then Sasha bites her again, and pushes her gently but firmly towards the bed.

Sasha keeps clinging as she undresses her, even when it gets in the way, thin-fingered hands inhumanly strong where they grasp at her. The silence fills with the sigh of the mattress as Sasha pushes her down onto the bed, straddles her and popping stitches as Azu’s clothes are practically torn off, leaving her completely exposed; with harsh frantic panting as she’s kissed so hard it _hurts_. Azu finds her hands going to Sasha’s hips, trying to steady her, but before she can blink her wrists are pinned to the bed, encircled by cold, hard hands.

Sasha ranges over her, face twisted in a frantic, helpless snarl. “I can’t –“ she hisses, “just, Azu, please don’t, I-“

“Okay,” Azu whispers. Her hands clench into fists with the ache to touch the shaking, scarred woman above her, but she can’t push Sasha, not now. It would be cruel, to push her. “Okay, Sasha, I won’t.”

Sasha nods sharply, face all broken angles. “Good. Good.” She’s panting, as if she’s the one with the hard-muscled thigh pressed up between her legs, perfect friction until she’s aching. The pleasure swells so fast it leaves her reeling – she’s wanted Sasha, wanted to hold her close and kiss all her sharp edges, but she hadn’t known she wanted her this _much_.

Taking a deep breath, Azu forces her shoulders down, making herself relax into the bed. Sasha kisses her, gentler, like a reward for her compliance. One of her thumb strokes across Azu’s wrist, ice-cold but so soft.

Sasha releases her wrists in increments, waiting until she’s sure that Azu is staying put before she lets her go, brings her hand down to brush over Azu’s naked thigh. Azu shudders reflexively – Sasha’s hands _still_ haven’t warmed. Perhaps they never will again.

“Sasha-“ she whispers through trembling lips, not even sure what she wants to say. _Stop? Please? Let me help you?_

“Let me,” Sasha whispers, and those grey eyes are so wet, eyelashes clumping together. “Come on, Azu, lemme, _please_.”

And Azu gives up, of course she does. Lets her legs fall open and gasps as Sasha’s cold fingers brush over where she’s so vulnerable, soft and burning. They trace her labia so gently, her touch feather-light. This isn’t the confident, assured touch that Azu’s seen handle knives and appraise valuables; Sasha’s hands are trembling, just slightly. Her eyes are huge, pupils blown out.

Then she closes them, takes a deep breath, and skims her fingers up to rub gentle circles around Azu’s clit. The sudden shock of cold blends with the wonderful friction in a way Azu’s never felt before. She shudders and cants her hips up, lets Sasha have her way.

Clever fingers, so clever – Sasha learns her within moments, maybe better than anyone else ever has. Her firm, careful touches undo Azu as easily as any lock, and soon Azu is shaking under her, gasping between helpless moans as she melts into the bed.

“You’re so-“ Sasha’s voice is ragged, almost a growl. She keeps swallowing, convulsively. “You’re fucking _beautiful_ , Azu, I- I’ll keep you safe, whatever it takes, I _swear_ , fuck-“ She slips her other hand down to plunge three fingers into Azu’s cunt, the sudden stretch sending Azu’s hips shuddering upwards, burning through her.

Sasha fucks her so fast, so hard, Azu can’t even feel the ice of her touch anymore.

The orgasm builds in shocky waves; it _hurts_ , like Sasha has a hand buried in her nervous system and is tearing the pleasure out of her. Before she knows it, Azu is bucking and whimpering, eyes burning with tears that obscure Sasha’s hungry face over her.

When it’s done, she slumps back down, utterly spent. Sasha collapses beside her, enough space between them that they don’t touch. For the first time, Azu notices that she’s not breathing.

As the pleasure drains away, Azu realises just how cold she is. How exhausted, deep in her bones. A shiver wracks through her, her whole body shaking.

There’s a flurry of movement beside her, and when she looks up again, Sasha is backing away, eyes wide. “Shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have done that,” she mutters, shaking her head side to side.

Wincing, Azu reaches out for her, and Sasha shrinks back, before turning on her heel and fleeing to the door. She hammers on the door, three sharp knocks. Before the door is opened and she slips out, Azu thinks she hears a whispered “Sorry.”

Alone, again, Azu collapses back onto the bed, swallowing hard against the huge, burning lump in her throat. Another shudder shakes a sob loose, and she twists on her side, pressing her face into the pillow beside her, the indent of Sasha’s head.

There’s only empty space where Sasha was, only the chill she left behind. Azu _feels_ empty too, the flesh Sasha touched numb and heavy. When she curls into herself, hugging her knees to her chest, the spaces where Sasha lay against her ache, absent from her senses like they’ve been hollowed out.

She holds herself tighter, cries until the pillow is soaked, until her eyes ache and finally run dry. The numbness eases, over the hours. It doesn’t quite go away.


End file.
